Confusion With a Hint of Lemon
by Wincing The Night Away
Summary: No more soap…panic! Edward has to go to the grocery store…and there he finds a woman dressed in a lemon costume, depressed teenagers and jealousy of soap... Not lemony...but fluffy : bad summary..R&R! Random :


**Disclaimer: I do not own twilight or lemon soap..just lime soap...hahah...funny :P**

**A/N: Okaay...I was talking to my friend and this idea popped up and of course it is very random :) Thank you so much Susi (Susianna) who helped me with this stuff! **

**Soo...anyway...I was bored so...yeah...**

**Enjoy!**

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**Con**fusion; with a hint of lemon

Chapter 1: Panic! At the grocery store!

Bella was searching everywhere. Panicking. No matter where she looked she could not find it. Well she had found it, but there was no more. It was empty.

She desperately squeezed the bottle but none of the usual creamy white liquid came out.

"Edward!" She cried and in matter of seconds he was standing outside the door, worrying. Maybe she had gotten a heart attack. He listened closely, but her heart was still beating. And he did not smell blood. So that was not the problem. He asked softly what the problem was, trying to hide his extreme worry.

"There is no more soap!" She shrieked like her hand had fallen of. Edward sighed, but the pain in her voice could not make him relax yet.

"Then what is the problem love?" He asked and pressed his face to the door and hear Bella sigh heavily.

"I'm outta soap! You need to go and buy soap!" She roared and Edward pulled his face of the door and stared at it.

"Can't you come with me?" Asked he in a low voice, not willing to admit that he was scared to death of the store. With food and people and… food. He felt nauseous. She began cussing and cried that she would not leave the bathroom until he brought her soap. He did not understand why the soap was so important, she always smelled good to him. He just nodded and walked down, until he noticed that she could not se his nod from downstairs.

"I'll be back soon love!" He shouted and she replied with a shaky and nervous groan. Edward sighed as well and headed for his car.

As he sat down and turned on the engine, the radio turned on as well. A song was just ending and commercials came on.

"_Buy new and improved Confusion; It smells like lemons! Amazing! The new improved soap from Soap'o'mania! Buy buy buy!"_

And so the commercials continued, but this one in particular caught Edward's ears. _This soap sounds good enough for my love._ He thought as he stared up to her bedroom window. He sighed and drove out of the parking lot. He had to have that soap.

When he had finally reached the small grocery store, he stepped out, to of course be soaked immediately. The rain was as always pouring down and he had forgotten his jacket. _Of course._

The building was quite small and there were a lot of commercials on the walls, but Edward's eyes were fixed on the front door. He quickly stepped through the door and shook the rain from his hair and pulled his hand through it, probably looking like he had been taken directly out from a shampoo commercial, since all the girls that were in seeing distance of him squealed and thought dreamy thoughts of him. And the thoughts continued as he passed down the aisles to find the one with body products.

And there it was. A pile of these soaps and on top to mark it all; a huge cardboard sign were it said: "**Confusion; It smells like lemons! Buy Buy BUY!"** The bottles were formed as lemons and they had confusions written across them with elegant script. It was perfect for Bella. Edward grabbed one and sniffed it carefully. Lemons. He sighed once again as he inhaled the scent. Lemons smelled so good and refreshing, if one ignored the scent of soap.

A woman came to stand next to him; she was dressed as a large lemon. At first Edward didn't take notice of her, but when she cleared his throat he moved his gaze to her face.

"It smells good eyh?" She asked with a hoarse voice and her breath was not lemon scented at all. More like scotch mixed with bleach. Edward nodded carefully and pressed the bottle to his chest. She wobbled towards him. "Yah, it so good, it's addicting." She continued to mutter and Edward began to step carefully back wards, to get away from this clearly drunk woman. Maybe she had not used the soap the correct way. Edward thought as he stepped further behind. "Yah! I would buy at least three. They all go away the same day!" She burst into a snorting laughter and rested her arm on Edward's, almost making him cry.

"Go away, ugly lemon." He whispered to low for her to hear and she came closer and stretched the arm around his shoulder and pointed a finger at him while she told him how good lemons smelled if you poured acid over them. Edward froze and stared at the woman with fear. He stepped further back and a loud noise came behind him. And he watched several lemon bottles roll by his feet and the lemon woman moved her gaze down to their feet.

"Oh crap." She muttered and bent down to grab a bottle.

As soon as she let go, he darted over to the counter, but he soon realized he was running in the wrong direction. Panic pulsed through his dead body and the scent of food and humans filled his lungs. Oh why did Bella have to run out of soap? He ran around with a frown on his face, terrified that the lemon woman would catch him again. A thin teenage boy that was swiping the muddy and wet floor. Edward glared at the poor boy and he held tighter on to his broom.

"Wh-what ca-can I help you with sir?" He asked, and fear filled his spot covered face.

"I **need** to buy this soap for my girl friend." Edward hissed between his clenched jaw and the boys face paled as he pressed the bottle to his face. _Oh crap. Another one of the insane soap buyers. _The boy thought, but Edward ignored it, since the boy also thought that Edward was handsome. He shivered and continued to glare at the boy.

"Uhm-uhm…" He stuttered and Edward pressed the bottle harder against his face.

"Get to the point!" Edward growled and the boy's eye rolled back and he fainted. He fell to the floor with a loud thud. He darted to the floor and was breathing unnecessary fast and gasping for unnecessary air. The lemon woman was yelling after him and all the other miserable teenager were running after him. Either because he was stealing or that he looked the way he did. At least they were running and screaming after 'soap stealer' or 'gorgeous'. He had finally reached the door and burst out into the pouting rain. His car only a few meters away. He sprinted as fast as he could in human speed, without running suspiciously fast.

He ripped the door open, without ripping it of completely. While throwing himself into the car almost tipping it over. As soon as he sat more or less straight he started the car and raced out the parking lot. Only daring to look at his chasers for a brief second, but it was enough for him to se their furious faces and hearing their miserable thoughts. One sadder then the other. But the only one that surprised him was the lemon lady, who was waving and shouting goodbye.

Edward shivered and his car roared down the quiet streets of Forks. And soon he reached the Swan residence, were his love was waiting patiently. He killed the engine and pressed his palms to his face and took a deep breath before he walked out to the rain again, sprinting to the door in a few strides.

"Edward!" Bella shrieked as he ripped the door open with a loud crack. She was still in the bathroom to Edward's surprise. He ran up the stairs and burst into the bathroom without considering knocking. Bella was sitting on the toilet and crying; her eye makeup smudged down her cheeks.

"Edward!" She cried and Edward wrapped his arms quickly around her. "Shh…love…shh.." He said as he rocked her back and forth in his arms. "I have the soap." He said and let her stand on her feet and gave her the lemon soap. Her face lit up as he placed the soap in her hands.

"Oh Edward…I've heard so much about this one…" She opened the lid and sniffed it gently. Edward's heart skipped as he watched her close her eyes and moan with the pleasure of the scent. She quickly straightened up and ran out the room. Edward stared with a questioned face after his girl. Why didn't she use the soap? He growled slightly under his breath. He had gone through all this to watch her not use the soap.

He ran over to the room, where he found her snuggling under her blanket with her eyes closed. Edward leaned towards the door and smiled, she was so pretty. Then he looked closer and saw the bottle of soap nestled in her arms. It was pressed against her light clothed breasts. He felt a pang of jealousy as he watched her press the bottle to her chest, though he knew it was insane. She moaned as she pressed the bottle towards her face.

"I love you Confusion…" whispered she as she kissed the bottle. _What the hell?_

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**A/N: So this is going to be a two shot...so stay in touch for the next chapter!**

**Please reveiw!! **

**Love and soap to you all!! Kjersti xox**

_Reveiw..._


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